The Doldrums

this is the worst part of the vacation.

today, i went to the dentist. which in and of itself is enough to ruin a good day off, but also i finished the book i was reading, i have seen all the worthwhile (and some other) films at the dollar theater, and school starts in about a week. and i miss it. i miss the stimulation, i miss the socialization, and try as i might to fill my inquisitive mind in my time off it is inevitably at my own pace which is admittedly glacial. its so much more efficient to have someone else cramming knowledge down my throat.

Um, so about that book. i just finished "love in the time of cholera". i was supposed to have read it last semester and written a paper on it, only one of those assignments was graded, and that is the one i did. in retrospect, my paper was not that ill-informed for being based on assumptions gleaned from in class discussions. in my professor review at the end of the semester, i promised to read the book in the upcoming break (after having admitted that i did not read it prior to my paper){this did not effect my grade}. the novel is every bit as good as you have heard it to be, and if you haven't heard that you're hanging around with the wrong sort of people- go out and get you some literate friends.

it is a beautiful story that is so well crafted it deserves the praise it recieved, and yet easy to read and become engrossed with. it is about love, and sex, and the passage of time. that is an over-simplification, but thats what we're focusing on here. what i found most poignant was the idea of love between the young, between people before marriage, being entirely different from love between married people, and also just between old people who are "dating". over the past nearly seven years i have learned the differences between dating and being married, not all of them related to sex. this book illuminated for me the results of those years of study.

I will never have the same relationship that i had with my wife before she became such. We are never going to be giddy and amused with each other's company all the time. don't misunderstand me, that is not as depressing a thought as it sounds. But in all honesty, i have tried very hard thus far to try to fight my way back to that place. marriage is occasionally hard, and in those times it has been easy for me to look back with longing for those days and use that idealized snapshot as a blueprint for a future that looks as rose colored as when we were dating. what i should have done, nearly seven years ago, was close the door behind me and build a strong foundation for a marriage that does not mimic the way we were when we were twenty, but builds something that will be sustainable when we are fifty.

so this book has given me a lot to think about, i love that about art, and education, you never know how something will hit you and suddenly other seemingly unrelated things come together. go read a good book, it will make you a better person.

Christmas

here's the recap.

meg's folks came up here for christmas day. they brought a wonderful roast, and the rest of dinner. it was excellent, my mother-in-law is an incredible cook, even in our dinky little kitchen. we had a nice meal and then opened presents.

Foggy Day Schedule

i love fog.

today when i got up at 330 and took the dog outside, it was hinting at being a foggy day. By 400 when i got on my bike to ride to work it fulfilled that promise. i could smell plants, and soil and cement, my eyelashes collected pearls of moisture that compounded when i blinked. it was reminiscent of riding my bike to school when i was younger. i am from fog.

people in southern california are perhaps worse drivers in the fog than in the rain. both are only minor weather phenomena down here so nobody gets much practice. this should make a rational cyclist nervous, but i am not that way inclined. fog requires more attention, certainly, but it downplays the visual input that is so pervasive and you can focus on the sounds of oncoming cars, or ones turning corners. and the increased moisture carries scent molecules to your nasal mucosa much better. i have a poor sense of smell in general, but on a foggy day, its like a whole new world out there.

i have the next few days off of work, and i hope they're foggy too. since so many people start the new year in a metaphorical fog anyway, it would be nice if the rest of us could enjoy some actual fog. Happy New Year!

also, this week we are catsitting for meg's friend lena. so we have cleo her kitten running around the place. she's a lot of fun, and pretty well behaved for a kitten.

How lazy I've become (part of an ongoing saga):

For christmas i asked for "cowboyish" boots.

to clarify, i am not now, nor have i ever been a cowboy. i am just too lazy to tie my own shoes.

i live in southern california, where the weather is fine and it is not unheard of to wear flip-flops in the early days of november. there is an ease to sliding one foot into a readily available thong sandal that makes those midnight trips outside to drain the dog that much easier. it was with much consideration that i came up with the idea of getting said boots. i hate to wear my shoes untied and ruin the laces by slopping around in a shoe that barely keeps my feet in. mocassins and clogs are just not for me-that's all that need be said. and i considered some loafers, only briefly, as they have become so stylized that it is hard to find one that doesn't make you look like ali baba or an italian lothario.

you're thinking to yourself "in the choice between giggolo or pecos bill, and you went with pecos bill?!" but hear me out. The boot is a wonderful piece of footwear, historic even. mine in particular were not particularly cowboyish, they have a rubber sole, a rounded toe, and a flat half inch heel. there is no ornate stichwork. they're more wellington than "howdy pardnuh" and honestly, for being the most expensive shoes i've ever owned, they are easily the most comfortable.

the other consideration was the future. i am convinced, through my time in the navy, that a properly maintained pair of leather boots (shoes) can last a lifetime. the problem is usually the sole. i have a pair of dr. martens that i love, and have worn-in wonderfully, but you cannot resole those boots. i've asked around. but these boots can be resoled.

plus they give me a reason to wear boot cut jeans. (finally, i have one) so look for them at the bottom of future pictures of me, hopefully for many years to come.

P.S. i also just bought a pair of chelsea boots for work as it was time to replace my much abused synthetic oxfords. less westerny, but still slip-on. (tieing your shoes in the dark at 345 am can be more complicated than necessary)

Best Christmas Moment 2008

Christmas morning i woke up around 8. i did the morning routine, washed all the remaining dishes in the sink, straightened up the house. it was 10. Meg's family wasn't due until 1230, but they called (at 1230) to say they had just left so expect them around 2pm. In the glorious 2.5 hours between completing ALL the housework, and their phone call at 1230, i sat in the living room, with only the christmas tree and some icicle lights lit up. I had a cup of tea, the one that tastes like burning christmas tree, and i read the entire New York Times (from last Sunday) in the stillness and quiet of the late morning.

I know i raved about having nothing but leisure time ahead when i finished the semester, but lets face it, that was crap. It was a week and a half before christmas, and stuff needed to get done. plus there was a lot of other stuff that got done whether it needed it or not. so the honest truth is that those 2.5 hours were the only two that i can remember when i could say i had nothing to do. my apartment was as clean as it could get, my wife was in bed, the animals taken care of, no errands to run (nothing was open anyway), and not a thought in my head that came from a to do list. So i read the paper, and i thought about you. all of you. i thought about my friends and family, even those i haven't talked to recently, and i imagined them (you) happily enjoying christmas morning with their family and loved ones. seriously. it was a wonderful, peaceful, and happy thought that filled me with warm contentment.

i get this sort of freedom once in a great while, only when travelling, i call it the "airport syndrome". when you get to the airport, bus station, train terminal, you are entirely isolated in the moment. if you forgot something at home, well, too bad. didn't pick up the dry cleaning, it'll wait. there is nothing to do but wait. it is a magical time when i can shake off my mental to do list, and just be still. then you have to get on the plane, and don't get me wrong, i love that too, but for different reasons, and you get all cramped and the guy next to you is smelly, and the child behind you REALLY, REALLY wants that juicebox, and you have to fish your ipod out of your carry on that is wedged between the floor and the seat in front of you, thats all awesome too.

I hope you all got a few moments of peace, and know that whatever you were doing between 10-1230 on christmas, i was thinking of you.

Generosity

I am frequently impressed by the generosity of my customers, i mean they're buying an overpriced cup of coffee and a morning greeting for almost $5 (most of them). But at Christmas-time their gifts, cards, candy, and personal tips can be overwhelming.

my job is not hard. most of the time i can do it with my mind in neutral, but my personality is always in drive-even at 430 in the morning. i love where i work because of the people. i love the tangled inner-workings of my co-workers' personal lives. i love teasing them in a familial way. i love the vast majority of my regular customers. i love my boss, she takes good care of all of us. i love feeling like part of the community i live in: i know cops, CHP, doctors, lawyers, contractors of all varieties, old men, teachers, mothers and children, homeless people, hipsters, everybody.

i couldn't care less about coffee. and that's okay because i care about what my people want.

i want them to leave happy, and come back to visit tomorrow. if that means dressing up a bit strangely at times, or teasing them about something, or starting a friendly argument with my coworkers (while i work) to give people something to watch while waiting in a long line, then i'll do it. and if it occasionally gets me a $50 tip, well, that's cool too!

The water boy and deuce

Over thanksgiving weekend meg and i stayed at a condo in port hueneme. it was very nice, twice the size of our apartment, and it had cable!!!! but better than that, on saturday we spent most of the day in santa barbara and ended the day by going to the zoo. they have a great zoo, worth checking out. As we were leaving, two couples were headed toward the zoo in the parking lot. It was Adam Sandler, his kid, and his pregnant wife-and Rob Schneider and his wife(?) They were really cool and Mrs. Sandler even took the picture above so that i could get in there too. very nice, it was a cool little incedent over a very nice weekend.