in passing

Today i attended a memorial service for meg's boss/mentor/friend. Her name was Dr. Marianne Cinat, and she was by all accounts an impressive woman. i knew her only socially, we had dinner a few times and sat at the same tables for hospital functions, and she was a humorous and kind person. the world is a little worse off for her departure.

While all of the above could certainly justify my attendance, i mostly went in support of meg. But i would be ignoring my curiosity, and selfish reasons if i did not disclose them: I wanted to see the future.

I have been to what i imagine are an average number of funerals/memorials for my age. I still prefer them to weddings--nobody goes to a funeral unless they want to, its not really a "can i bring a date" scene. But i have never been to such an enormous service. It filled two conference rooms in the doubletree hotel (across the street from the hospital). Multiple fire departments had firetrucks out front in an impressive show of force, many of the firemen in dress uniforms filled the hall. Police officers, city officials, hospital staff, friends, only her sister made the trip out from the family home in Michigan, where the funeral will be held. Many of her patients were actually in the audience, or had sent in emails and cards with their condolences, some got up to speak.

It was impressive to consider the impact of this one woman on all of the people in the room. I can only imagine that throughout a career in trauma and burn surgery (even a tragically short one in this case) you play an important role in the community as well as in individual's lives. Part of my going was to see what meg's funeral (eventual, i'm not planning anything untoward) would look like. If their friends and coworkers are to be believed meg and marianne were very similar, and i think an apt comparison can be made.

People respect doctors. some of them even deserve it. I had never been to a doctor's service before, and it was touching. particularly for hard working, no nonsense doctors who put their patients before their own family and social obligations at times, it was reassuring to see that people do appreciate their efforts, and they do affect people's lives.

Which is nice, because that's the kind of doctor i married.